I am posting this story again, cause I have been asked again about Desi. The last time I put this story up I made the post password protected cause Desi was still very little. Now she is eight & her father & I can handle problems that might arise if her “blood” mother gets out of prison & thinks that she is going to try to take Desi back. So if you are curious about who Desi is and why I am mother to an 8 year old child that isn’t mine & why I say that the children I have are my dogs then read the following:
Some Background Info:
Jordan & I were boyfriend & girlfriend for seven years. We broke up in 2005 to my unhappiness. Though I never planned on marriage & to my knowledge neither was he. He sidelined me with the knowledge that he adopted Desi with the thought that it would make me marry him in order to give Desi a family. Little did he realize that his little scheme would not work. I refused and we had a huge fight and he broke Desi heart in the process. Desi didn’t want us to get married. She was happy the way things were going. If she had wanted us to get married then I would have tried my hardest to make her happy.
Brittany & I became friends while I was in college. It was through her that I met her brother, Jordan (the above). Through her I made friends with Jock and Rhea. She later married & divorced Jock.
Jock is my adopted big brother, my boyfriend in need (you know when you have to have the boyfriend to go somewhere), basically whatever I need he is my man. He is Desi father now, & we share the parenting duties between the two of us. About two or three times a month I usually spend the weekend at his house with him & Desi. No, for those of you that are curious we are not boyfriend & girlfriend, there is no sex between us, there will never be a marriage between us. We are not that type of a couple. Though we do tend to act like an old married couple, we are just really good friends that have gone through some really hard times together. We have gone through treatment with the abuse that Desi went through with her mother, the abandonment from Jordan, & making sure that Desi realizes that she is not going to be abandoned again by Jock & me. That is Desi’s worst fear. Though we have legally made sure that she will be taken care of no matter what happens.
Desi is my adopted daughter, she is eight years old this year. She has platium blond hair and ocean blue eyes. Don’t ask me where she gets this coloration from cause I have no idea. I know both her parents and neither have them. I first met Desi when she was three years old while I was dating her supposed father, Jordan. Angela, her mother, brought her to try and force Jordan to claim Desi as his own child. Angela thought that by throwing Desi under my nose that I would force Jordan to claim fatherhood. Even though the paternity test proved Jordan wasn’t the father, Angela was obsessed with getting Jordan to claim paternity. Well, all this did was start the path of Desi falling in love with me. As Desi grew up she only knew Jordan as father and he did take care of her. He sent her toys, clothes, & money all the times. So she always called Jordan daddy, & he never had a problem with that.
As time passed Jordan and I had our ups & downs and our arguements were always about the same thing. I was always honest with Jordan about the fact that our relationship was casual and I had no intention of having it become serious. Jordan said that was fine, he wasn’t interested in marriage or anything serious either. So I thought we were on the same level, but we always had small little spats over it. Never anything to break up over, but small spats.
When Jordan got a job in Columbia, we decided to maintain our relationship even though it meant that he would have to drive down to see me every week. He had no problem with that. One day about six months into his job he gets this phone call from the Kansas City Children’s Welfare Department. They informed Jordan that Angela had been arrested and that he was listed has Desi’s (she was four) next of kin. Was there a way that he could come & pick her up? He was like huh? They explained further that the Kansas City police had made a meth bust on Angela’s house and found a meth lab set up in one of the bedrooms. They were taking the child into protective custody and Angela informed them that Jordan was the father of the child. He said that he was unable to come and get Desi, but he would have one of his parents come and get her. Well, his father went, got Desi & brought her back to their house.
I found out the following from Jordan who got it from his parents. When Desi got to their house she was fithly. It took Jordan’s parents three changes of bath water to get her completely clean. All she had from Angela’s house was a sundress, this was in the middle of October. After the bath they dressed her in some of Jordan’s sister t-shirts. During this whole time she hadn’t uttered one word to either of them. Desi did know these two people, she had spent time with them before. By this time, Jordan was on his way from Columbia to their house which about a two hour drive. His parents took her into the kitchen and sat her down at the table thinking that she might be hungry. When his mother asked her she nodded her head yes. Desi ate: six cheeseburgers, a whole can of carrots, & four tall glasses of milk. Jordan mother said that she honestly thought that Desi would have eaten more. But they think that she thought that they would have told her no. By this time, Jordan had gotten home. The minute he walked in the door and Desi ran scream “Daddy” to him. She launched herself into his arms.
That is when they got the whole story from her. Desi said that she slept in the room where the lab was & the reason that she was only wearing the dress was because that was all she had. She told Jordan that she was sorry, but Angela (from this moment on she never called Angela mom again) took everything Daddy gave her away and she never saw them again. Daddy asked her if she had enough to eat and she said that she wasn’t hungry anymore. Her tum-tum was happy again, it wasn’t unhappy anymore. She said that her tum-tum was unhappy quite often and she had to sneak her food or Angela would get mad at her. Desi also said that Angela had lots of people in the house that Desi didn’t like and if Desi was seen during any of this time Angela would spank her.
There was several other horrible things that this child went through, though thankfully she wasn’t sexually abused. The last thing she asked Jordan before they put her to bed that night was if she could stay with them and not go back to Angela. Jordan said that Desi didn’t ever have to worry about it, she would never have to go back to Angela.
Well, he went through the court system and legally got custody of Desi. The judge of the case was not happy about the fact that there was no woman for a motherly figure for Desi. Well, Desi by that time had already determined who she wanted to call mommy and was already calling me mommy. Well, I got to be interviewed by the judge and pronounced fit and then I also got to sign the adoption papers for Desi. Of course, there is more to this, but I am trying to keep this fairly short and simple.
As time progressed, Jordan & I separated but we remained a united front for Desi. No, we never lived together and Desi lived with Jordan. But I have always remained in contact with her. We had our days out and she learned how to use the phone and email really fast. I always fulfilled my requirements has her mother.
One day (Desi was six by this time) Jordan & his empoyer had a giant disagreement and he wound up fired and by the time I found out he had already left town. He left Desi with his best friend, Jock, and moved to Chicago. When Jordan refused to come back & take care of his responsibilities, Jock went to court and sued for custody of Desi and for child support. He was award both. Again there was a lot more to this situation.
I imagine you are wondering why Desi just didn’t come & live with me at this time. It is simple. Jock lives where there is better schools and all her friends are up there. Where I live there are no children her age. I chose to let her stay with Jock because her best friend, Mei-Mei, lives right next door to her. She goes to a private school also in the city where Jock lives. So it makes more sense for her to live with Jock. She stays with me for several weeks in the summer time and several weekends during the school year. Whenever she isn’t staying with me you can be sure that we are email, chatting, or on the phone with each other. We are all quite happy with this situation that we have.
Well, that basically covers how I got Desi. If you have questions, you can email them to me. I will answer them I skipped over a lot that happened cause I was trying to keep this fairly short & simple.
Posted in 
July 3, 2008 | 
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